Splurging

Tonight, I think I ate more junk food than I have in a long time. I'm not really used to eating junk, so my body doesn't take it well when I do.

I ate 5 Krispy Kreme donuts, 3 cans of soda, several cookies, some chips, pigs in a blanket, and a clementine in between to make myself feel a little better. I may look like a male version of Ms. Piggy by tomorrow when this is all digested. Oh well. If I can't get huge muscles, I could probably go for a huge stomach instead! No, it probably wasn't worth it. But, I figure if you're gonna eat terribly, why not go all out, right? haha  actually, I can't even convince myself that's true. I think I'm gonna eat a little better tomorrow. Somebody check up on me to make sure I'm not dead. Or, if you don't hear from me again.... I probably am. haha 

Disneyland Dreams

Last night, I found myself on the Thunder Railroad ride at Disneyland. Earlier this week, I'd been visiting somewhere else in the park. Last week, I was on some kind of a weird date going on kid rides with one of my friends. Some time before that, I was stuck wandering around through the shops and attractions to try and find what I wanted to do. 

Yes, for about six months now I've been continually having dreams about going to Disneyland. It doesn't make much sense. Yet, they keep coming back. I don't even like the place THAT much. I'm pretty sure I've gone to the most magical place on earth so many times in my dreams that I'm actually starting to get tired of it. haha Maybe this means I need to find a way to get to Disneyland somehow. If only it didn't cost so much.....

Here's What's Happening

So, I haven't written here in a long time. Things have been crazy. But, I guess I should give an update..... since I do have a blog.

The past year, I've dated more than I ever had in the past. I met a lot of girls and had some good experiences. There wasn't very often when I didn't have some girl I liked and talked to a lot. So, I've learned a lot that way. There's something about continually dating where you start to learn what's really stupid. Like, if you want to make a girl angry..... do these things. And yeah, I seem to know how to do stupid things pretty well. haha dating a lot was fun, but also really stressing. Maybe more stressing than anything else in school. I won't even hide it, I'm a complete romantic. When there's a girl I like, I do everything I possibly can to make her feel special, like make her breakfast in the morning or just something small like a text before she goes to bed. It's easier to get hurt or taken advantage of when your heart is in it, but also a lot more rewarding. Dating hasn't quite worked out for me quite yet.... but it only works out once, and I'm not married yet. haha

School. Yeah, that's been fun. I was too focused on other things like dating for the past couple semesters that I didn't do so well. Also, I watched too many sports. I enjoy keeping up with sports scores and all that a bit too much. That's not such a great thing if you're not thinking about your grades enough. haha but my grades were terrible last semester. I barely passed 3 out of 4 classes and failed the 4th. I'm trying a lot harder now, that is for sure. I'm starting to learn that I need to focus on what I want in life. I mean, a lot of things have to take a backseat if you want to get somewhere. I can't just go hang out with friends or watch TV like I used to do a lot. That's not gonna get me anywhere. It's okay in moderation, but not to the extent I've done it in the past. I'm gonna start focusing on things that are gonna get me somewhere. Trying to decide if I like the psychology major or not. I really don't know if it's my favorite. Like, I really love to help people, but that's the main reason why I'm doing it, and I don't know if I can keep up that enthusiasm for the rest of my career. Still thinking about that. Anyway, I have to do well this semester or they're not gonna let me stay at BYU anymore. I definitely have some motivation from that.

Still don't have a job. Last semester, I did volunteer for a number of hours at the Utah State Hospital though.  It was required for a class and I was hesitant at first, but it was a really good experience. Most the patients there really appreciated that we were there to help. They're fairly normal people just trying to get over their trials like everybody else. I really wish there was more I could've done to help with that. Still, giving them the time to talk with somebody felt good. This is why I kind of want to be a psychologist: to help people like this to overcome their trials and progress. In any case, I still do need to get a job soon unless I want to pile up so much debt that I can't repay it. Hopefully things work out. I know they will, somehow.

In other news, I've been working out still. It's mainly been strength training. I don't have a lot of time to do it, but I'm slowly getting stronger. Definitely feels good and I kind of enjoy it.

That's about it for news right now. I'll try to update things more often on this blog. Even if nobody reads, it feels good to write for a bit. haha maybe I should just be a journalist. I'll just do that, why not. Okay, I won't. But maybe. Bye.

I found this scripture really meaningful...

"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal."

-2 Corinthians 4:14

I've found today that I was having a hard time in certain situations that have been there lately in my life. Then, I read this and I realized that these things are good for me. I may not be positive where I'll end up. And I may not know what will happen. But, I'm being shaped by what's happening, God has a plan, and that's all I really need to know. Those things which I can't see, both in the future and those which I'm just having a hard time seeing right now, are what will last. I can't base all my emotions on what I'm seeing and feeling at one moment. I know that things will be okay and I'll be able to get through every trial and decision in life as long as I'm following the right path and have faith that the Lord knows where it's going. 

And I know this same thing applies to everybody who's reading this. Hope it helps you, too.

When You Put Your Whole Self Into It

So, I’ve realized lately that I set myself up all the time to be disappointed. I’ve reflected on it, and realized that applies to so many aspects of my life. When I do anything, I put all of my emotion and heart into it. I did that with my music ambitions and was pretty disappointed to spend years of training with the trumpet only to realize it wasn’t enough to be where I wanted to be in college. I tried to put what I could into learning piano… and then I had a disastrous recital that shook a lot of confidence out of me. There was the time when I had the trumpet solos in front of a small stadium several times back when I was determined enough to do marching back in high school… and I bombed it the first time, which crushed me for a while just because of the sheer amount of emotion and determination I had put forth to learning it. When I had a job and was fired, I wanted to go home and sit there for a long time without doing anything.  I didn’t try as hard as I should have, but it hurt me so badly since I was so happy to have a job and it made me have so much confidence just having one. It’s also the same with dating. I give out everything I have every time and put so much emotion into making a girl feel special, which makes it so I’m most likely going to get hurt.

That’s just a few examples. But, you know what? This is what has made my life so great. I think having that enthusiasm for everything you do is important if you’re ever going to get anywhere. A lot of the time, that enthusiasm will leave you disappointed and can even seem self-destructive when it crushes you under the weight of hope. Then again, a person who doesn’t  have this emotion for life will never experience some of the lowest lows and and highest highs that have shaped me life and made it so much worth living.

 

To Learn and To Grow

Life is interesting. You never know what’s going to happen. One moment, you’re completely sick of being exhausted all the time from everything that you have to do. Then, you kind of want to be exhausted so you can spend more time talking all night with somebody you meet out of the blue. I’ve learned my life will always have difficulties. I don’t mind that. It’s not something I can prevent or should try to stop. Who I make myself out to be and what kind of a person I am is what I can control and what I will try to control. I can influence who I help, what I learn, if I decide to write a new song or get in shape, or if I make new friends. It’s good to have somebody along for the ride, but it may not work that way when you want it to. I’m just glad I’m blessed with the wonderful life I’ve been given to make the most out of my opportunities and grow from them. Life really is as good as you make it.

Vanilla Milk

I've had a number of addictions in the past: Facebook, Nesquik, ESPN, BYU Creamery chocolate milk, apple juice, texting... and now Vanilla Milk.

The other night, I decided I wanted to start using my vanilla extract more, and was just about out of Nesquik, so decided maybe vanilla would work as a good substitute... It's delicious. That's all I have to say. You should try it.