It's my birthday. I've lived through 26 years. And it's been an eventful one, as all lives are. I've met people, seen places, and done things... many times over.
Yet, this past year has seemed different. I haven't written in this blog for a while. Probably because life has been much busier than it had ever been. Going to college, finishing your degree with some work mixed in, and just looking after yourself for a while... that's doesn't really take much work. For years, I bought the same thing at the grocery store nearly every time. I did my own things. I had much of my income coming out of student loans, and I didn't worry so much about where my my sustenance would be provided from.
Things are different now. The past couple years, I've had to learn to work a professional job. I've been let go from jobs. I've had heartbreak. I've learned to cope with true anxiety. And it's given me new insight at how much effort life takes when you truly become an adult after getting a degree.
As I said, this year has brought even more learning experiences than I've had in the past. Since my last birthday, I've been learning to live and become interdependent with another person. I wasn't married yet at this point last year... but, I was engaged and fully going down that path. I will have to say that it is an enormous blessing, but it also takes more patience, love, and commitment than anything one will ever do. It is definitely a learning experience. I have also learned, through necessity, how much work it is to maintain and stay at a legitimate, working class job for over a year. I had held a job that long before... just a student job at BYU, though. And one that took almost no brain power. This current job I'm in is one which has days that take all the emotional and mental strength I have just to make it through the shift and get home. In the past, I could always just quit and search for something new if I didn't like where I was. Can't do that anymore. This has also been an adjustment.
In the middle of all this work, and all this effort, I am learning what life is meant to be... well, I guess the answer is in that statement... as life is truly made by the education you gain from real struggles. I feel I've grown more from the learning experiences than I could ever have by staying single and working low-paying, temporary jobs I could quit whenever I wanted to. Some things you just can't learn without experience. In this experience, I have learned to become more responsible, less selfish, more charitable, less stubborn, and much more diligent both at work and at home.
I'm starting to learn the meaning of the Book of Mormon scriptures which tells us that Adam fell so that we might have joy, and that true joy does not come without adversity. In the middle of what many would call a great amount of adversity, I've also seen more joy than perhaps I've ever experienced. From working a job with more responsibility than I've previously had, I have learned the joy that comes with achieving goals after many months of striving to reach them. You can't learn that unless you have a job which takes that kind of effort, and in which you've put in enough time. In marriage, I have learned the joy which comes from celebrating a spouse's triumphs, traveling together, learning to meet needs together, become of one heart and mind, and the strength it can give.
Even if the increased responsibility and difficulty of life has often been a struggle, I am learning to live and grow through adversity and challenges. I am learning to have joy through it all.
I can't say I know what exactly will happen this next year. I do know it probably won't slow down. My brother is preparing to go on a mission, so there will be changes for my close family. Cozette and I will be moving, which brings uncertainty. I also am not sure what path my career takes.
I just know that I'm grateful for what I have and who I've become. I'm grateful for all I've gone through to become a better man the past 26 years. Now, for another year, I will commit to doing my best to keep growing, learning, and developing into my best self.
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