Today, I read through one of my friends' blogs, and remembered she will be graduating from school at the end of next year. She has a little over a year left, and then will be graduating. This was just a little depressing for me. I'm happy for her that she'll be graduating. It really is a great thing! However, she started school a year later than I did...and I'm not even close.
I really shouldn't have let this happen. When I started school, I thought it would only take about four years and then I'd be done. Then, I became a bit complacent, lost focus, even failed classes, and now I don't even know if I'll be done within the next three years. I am still a Sophomore in terms of credits, and I'm at the end of my third year at BYU. Then, there's Graduate School I will need to do right after if I'm to become a Counseling Psychologist like I am planning to be right now. So, it's likely I'll be in school still in five years.
How do you keep being enthusiastic about school when you're so far in...yet feel so far away from finishing?
It's similar to when you're running and there's a lot of people faster than you are. After 15 minutes, you look up in the distance and see the finish line, where people are already starting to cross it and celebrate. You get a feeling of happiness for a few seconds, almost celebrating yourself, only to remember you have a long way to go. It becomes much more of a struggle, because some of the people you began the race with are already finished. If you could have just gone faster, maybe you would be there right now. But, you're not...
Back to school, I really don't know how I will keep running or where to draw strength from. I always do and will manage. Still, it feels like I'm going so slow that a new race started while I was still running, and people are already close to finishing that one, as well.
It's so frustrating being at the point where I've fallen behind many of my friends. I don't want to see people graduate before me who I was a Freshman with, or who are younger than I am. That's so tough to watch.
At this point, it's good to remember that we never end up where we are without a reason. The Lord always has a plan for you and, as long as you keep doing what you're supposed to do, you'll end up right where you're supposed to be. I really believe that's true. So, for right now, I'll just renew my focus, continue running, while keeping a picture of the finish line fresh in my head. I'll be there soon enough, and not a moment too late.
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