Jobless

Last night, I was up until the early hours of the morning finishing up a couple of essays. When I finally woke up, I was already late for work. After riding my bike over there, my boss met me and said he was going to have to let me go. He said it was because I was consistently late and too slow at my work, that it didn't seem like I was thinking about being there, and he couldn't have it. Now, I really don't know what to do. I am really down from this. I need to have some consistent income, but I can't seem to wake up early in the morning consistently, which has been hurting me the last few years in both school and work. This is really tough to handle. I have not had such a great start to this week.

Coming From Behind

This semester has been really difficult on me. Working while attending classes has made me really tired. I'm now behind in all my classes and have to find some time to catch up. It's really stressful and I don't know how to manage all of it. Just for the rest of today, I still need to write two essays and finish my Biology homework. This weekend's reading will probably have to go unfinished. I didn't realize how difficult managing things would be with both work and school, and I can't afford to fail since I wouldn't qualify for Financial Aid next semester. I have not gotten too stressed out in a long time, but now things are really starting to grind on me. From now on, I need to work even harder, since there is little room for error. The fun is over and the real work is just beginning.

Sleep...

This is something I've had possibly the most trouble getting caught up on during the start of the semester. Last week, I probably was able to get an average of 4 or 5 hours of sleep every night on school night, which made me really tired. Last night, I slept about 4 hours. It's making me really tired, so I need to manage my time better, or it could be rough trying to get through the next few weeks. Sleeping well has been something I've struggled with nearly my entire life, and it seems like thoughts are constantly going through my head at night. It's not easy for me to deal with but, at least for right now, keeping busy has usually helped me to be tired enough for sleeping by the time I get in bed. Maybe the tiring workload will help this issue. Aside from all else, I plan on getting to bed on time tonight, and expect tomorrow to be better after having more rest.

Disorders

I have a fairly strong opinion on some things that I really don't agree with. One of these is the concept of psychological disorders. There's a lot of them: Bipolar Disorder, Attention Deficit Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... The list is fairly lengthy. That is part of the problem.

I've had a lot of good friends who have very interesting personalities. Several are diagnosed with different "disorders" such as those I listed above. Besides my friends, I have thought about what other disorders some of the people I have met possibly have. In fact, there's not a whole lot of people who I would say don't have some sort of a disorder that might affect them. This bothers me.

Disorders are supposed to be something that makes people different from others and affects them in ways that are not normal. However, it has come to the point where this no longer seems true. There's a lot of people that supposedly have some kind of disorder. I would say there are enough people who have one that it's not even accurate to call it a disorder. When so many people are affected by these, can it really be called a disorder? Nearly every person can qualify as having one. In my opinion, they shouldn't be called by this name at all, since it makes people feel like they are different than everybody else, when they are not really much different than the hordes of people out there who also have some type of disorder. Psychological disorders have become the norm for average people, so it's time that title be done away with, and they should simply be seen as elements of personalities.

Broken Hearts Are Like Broken Bones

They come with great pain and need time to mend. However, when finally healed, they will be stronger than ever before and have the ability to withstand greater stress. Just something to think about...

My New Semester

Starting the new semester was pretty good. I met some new people, was productive, and was able to get to sleep early and wake up late before work started. Now, I'm starting to get a taste of what it will really be like for Fall. Yesterday, my last class didn't get out until 5, after which I was up until 3 finishing up work for today. Then, this morning, I woke up at 7 to get to work at 8. I actually was happy to get 4 hours of sleep, which isn't exactly normal for me, since I slept a lot during the Summer. Work was from 8-12 doing weed whacking, which hurt my back and shoulders carrying the thing around for so long, and I was really tired before classes even started. Those were from 1-5, during which I fell asleep for most of Doctrine and Covenants and had trouble focusing for most of the others. My History professor doesn't make me too excited for the class. He seems to just be reading off a slide exactly what he is going to say during lecture. That's going to be similar to my schedule for every day this semester. It's going to be really tiring. I think I'll be able to get through it. However, this will likely be the toughest semester for me to manage in terms of the sheer amount of work I will have. It's going to be tough. However, it is possible, and will be interesting to see how I react to so much stress. I'm looking forward to the weekend.