What I Am Thankful For

This is a bit cliche, but I feel this post needs to be made, if nothing else than to show a little bit of gratitude on this Thanksgiving day.

I'm thankful for:

• The chance to be home with family
• All the friends I have made throughout my life
• Technology which has helped me to keep in touch with my friends and family
  
• A car that works, even if it does have a lousy door
• A high school education
• The opportunity to attend BYU
  
• Good health
• The laptop I'm writing this on
• The blessings I've gained from being a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the fact I was born into it, and what it's taught me
  
• Missionaries who spend a great amount of time serving in the Church.
• My Savior who is Jesus Christ
• The Scriptures
  
• Parents who worked hard every day of my childhood to keep what what we have
• My citizenship in the United States of America and for those who defend this great country
• Each person who has helped me to grow through experiences they've given me
• My knowledge of music which has given me a great outlet to express myself
• All of my talents which I've been able to develop
  
• A cell phone
• Relatives who have helped me get through school
• The miracle of modern medicine
• Clean water
• Deciding to make more of an effort to go on dates and get to know more girls starting my Sophomore year, which has helped me to grow immensely
  

These are just a few things, but I am very grateful for so much I have been blessed with, and hope to touch the lives of many others I meet.

Yuck

It seems like, at BYU, I eat the same thing every day: Taco Bell. I am getting really sick of it. That place is just about all I can afford without income right now, and there's only so many things you can order for a dollar. Usually, I get the same thing, a bean burrito and soft taco. There was a time when I really liked eating there. Now, it feels similar to taking medicine, and I really only eat at the Bell because I likely wouldn't get any work done if I went home to have dinner. So, right now I am sitting in the Wilk, and am really hungry but just don't want to eat because I'd probably have to get something I'm really tired of. What to do...maybe I'll just buy a pop tart or something. I lifted weights today, so I'd like something with protein to help me rebuild. What a dilemma. Life is tough. Haha.

On Being Thought of As A Stalker

I sometimes wonder about if I seem like a stalker. I don't try to be. However, I'm pretty sure there was a class I was in last year where one of my friends sitting behind me was talking to her friend, and mentioned that it seemed like I was stalking her. I somehow had ended up in two classes with her that semester and saw her a couple times during the day, as well, which may have not helped my cause much. That kind of made me a little bit angry that she would think that, so I stayed away for a while.

Often, when I'm interested in a girl, I try to talk to her a little bit more often to give a hint, but it seems to come off as unwelcome when the girl doesn't like me back, and I again worry that I may just seem like another stalker guy.

Then, sometimes when I see girls I liked in the past who know I liked them, I worry that it may seem like more than a coincidence when I am pretty sure it isn't. For instance, I was recently riding my bike up to class when I ran into a certain girl, and it probably could have seemed like I timed that to happen or something. Maybe that's just me thinking too hard, though. Whenever a girl I like or have liked mentions somebody who seems like a stalker to them, I often think they could likely be talking about me.

And, another thing, when things don't work out with a girl and it becomes awkward for her, should you stop following her blog? I've kind of wondered about that. I started following this girl's blog a while back, but have not been sure ever since things ended with her whether she would feel more comfortable if I stopped following the blog, or if that would seem offensive, and also if reading it is a bad thing. I don't know.

I often don't worry about what people think of me, but there are a few things that get to me. Being thought of as a stalker is one.

I'm Grateful for People Who Show They Genuinely Care About Others

A couple nights ago, I was having fun at a basketball game, when I received a text from a friend. I thought it was probably from one of my parents, as I had recently sent them both a picture of the game, and expected it to be a routine inquiry of how it was or if I was having fun. I try to keep in touch with them when I can. However, it wasn't from either of them. The text I received was from a girl in my ward letting me know they had dropped off cookies and a balloon at my apartment. Right then may have been the best moment of my day or even the whole week. I thought about why they might have done it or if there was something they wanted back, that maybe there was a motive I didn't see, but I just didn't see them doing it for a reason like that. They had generally done it to be nice.

When I asked one of them about it yesterday, she said, "you're a good person, and we wanted to do something to show you that we appreciate it." Hearing this almost brought me to tears. I'll sometimes try to help other people and do things to make them feel better when they're down, but I don't usually receive anything back from it, nor do I expect or want to. However, when somebody actually did do something back for me, it was a change and, likely because it was so unexpected, I'm really taken back and grateful.

I'd like to publicly thank them for their kindness. Thanks, girls. It meant a good deal to have somebody show they genuinely care.

One Week Not On Facebook

I'm trying something through next Friday that may be good for me. I have been trying to stay off Facebook for an entire week. It's already proving really tough. First off, I get bored really easily if I'm just doing one thing, and Facebook has so much going on that it gives me something to occupy myself with while I'm doing other things. Secondly, I like feeling I'm not closed off from the rest of the world, which feels less so while online. And, thirdly, partly why I started getting on Facebook so much is because there is a girl I would talk to a while back when she got on. I'd get on sometimes just because I thought she may get on and chat for a while. Since then, it feels like the only way I can be close to her is if I am on Facebook, which is kind of sad but I recognize that this is part of the reason I'm on so much. I guess I have been lonely ever since I realized what it's like to have a girl to talk to and do things with and then faced rejection, and it eases some of the loneliness to have others around, and maybe even see her on there once in a while.

I can't imagine any of this is all that good for me. Living in that reality makes one become more dependent on being on an internet site instead of actually being social and talking to others. This seems like it could really screw people up.

As a result of all these factors, I think I have actually become addicted to Facebook. I know I am probably not the only one, but that doesn't really make it any better. I am having a hard time not getting on there and I would like to be at a point where it is not so difficult to avoid it. I may have some frustration staying off the site. However, this week should help me to realize I can live without it, if nothing else.

Not Dead Yet

Tonight, I realize that I am pretty much the epitome of everything I don't like in pedestrians and bikers. I know I already wrote about this, but this time I proved it!

I was riding my bike home from campus when a light was just about to turn red. So, I stopped while pretty much in the street, and a car starting to go by had to stop and let me go, which may have actually held up the traffic...Truthfully, I don't think I cared all that much, which maybe isn't a good sign. haha.

A couple minutes later, I was riding down 9th East, not too fast, when there was a car turning onto a street just ahead of me. I saw this, but decided the car would stop, so just kept going. A few seconds later, the car was still going, but I figured it would either stop...or I would beat it across the street. I almost ran right into it before the driver finally realized I was there and slowed down enough so I could swerve past the front. That was probably one of the stupidest things I did today. haha. I probably could have died right there. I guess that sometimes happens, though. It's all good.

Exhausted

I'm really tired. I had too much fun this weekend and didn't get much homework done. So, I then stayed up all last night to finish a few things and have been up for a long time. Somebody hinted at me today that, since I'm 20, I should be acting more mature and other people my age usually figure out how to wake up and have better sleeping habits than I do. This was a bit of a wake-up call. I've come to the realization that it's about time for me to grow up and become responsible. Things will have to change if I am going to be successful in life. I should probably start now.