Going Against Our Own Selves

Tonight, I was going on a run and using frustrations towards other people to fuel myself onward. When tired, I can sometimes gain strength when I think about almost any person who I have a sort of rivalry with, and imagine myself racing against this person. It makes runs more meaningful when you have a purpose.

At one point while I was running down the street, I thought I noticed another person running down the sidewalk a little ahead of me, which gave me a short boost of speed to see if I could keep pace. About a second or two after, I realized that there was nobody ahead of me, and what I saw was my own shadow ahead. This made me wonder what it would be like to race against myself, and the person I began competing with in my head was my more competitive side. After thinking about it for a little while, I realized that trying to beat myself would be more difficult than going against another person, since I know my weaknesses and strengths better than anybody else. I eventually stopped this game of imaginary racing and began to think more about this idea of me against myself, a more contemplative theme, and developed something of a philosophical inquiry into the subject.

First off, I think most all of us have this difficulty of trying to beat our own selves harder than we try to beat anyone or anything else. We are our own harshest critics. When we are low in confidence, it is often our own thoughts that could drag us down and blow up the issues we're facing.

For example, I would guess that everybody has been made fun of before. What we often do in such a situation is somewhat illogical. I don't know what anybody else thinks, so I'll just refer to myself. When I am degraded or rejected, I will sometimes contemplate what the person said and put myself down because it may seem true. I'll then go over all the things that I need to do or could have done to be better, essentially admitting that the other person is right. In this situation, I really am not competing against anybody else. That person doesn't know me and does not have enough knowledge of who I am to really say anything. I have decided I'm not good enough and competing against myself, my own expectations and how good I think I should be. It's really counterproductive, since I know myself so well that there's always traits I could find be improved on.

I don't think we should stop trying to be our best selves. However, when we continue to be harsh on ourselves and look to find ways in which we are inadequate, it only serves to lower self-confidence and create frustration. My opinion is that we should try our best to be our best selves for those that matter and, after that, we need to realize that only so much can be done with our own capacities.