As I approach turning 20 years old and having lived for two decades, I have been thinking a lot about things I have been able to accomplish in my life...and also things I have not. There have been a few times that I have become a bit down lately because of things I never did or experienced so far in my child and teenage years. I guess I do have a month left to do a few of these, but many I cannot go back and do, because they are already past.
I never went to a High School dance, including Prom or Homecoming. I never went on a date in High School, and my first date was my Freshman year in college. I've never meaningfully held a girl's hand, had my first kiss, cuddled with a girl, or had a girlfriend. I guess this is what really is getting at me. It is hard going for such a long time without having somebody.
This has frustrated me for a while, because sometimes I really do want to have a girl I can do things for, and feel like she cares for me as much as I care for her. I think have done pretty well to hide this. But, going a long time without ever really feeling this way has sometimes made me feel a bit empty.
Right now, there is a girl that I like, but I think my own inexperience may be holding me back. I don't really know what to do next after establishing a good friendship. While I believe she may feel something towards me, I am not sure at what point to try to hold her hand, sit closer during a movie, or give her a kiss at the end of the night. There is a sense of mystery to it, which is good, and I hope that will last until I know what to do next. I think she may want to take it slow and, if that is the case, maybe I am not doing so bad. I guess spontaneity will have to do, for now.
Inexperience has sometimes gotten me down. But, I will keep going at it, which I will need to do in order to have new experiences.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
A Bit of an Update
Well, I have neglected this blog for a while, so I guess I will update it with what's new in my life.
Let's start with school last semester, which was Winter 2010. I was able to do fairly well in my classes, aside from failing Biology for the second time, which I am not looking forward to retaking again. I guess three is a pretty good number, though. haha. I actually passed Art History and Statistics this time around, though, with a B- and a B, respectively, so I am happy about that. I also rebounded from a terrible semester in the Fall and now am back on Good Academic Standing, which I am really happy about and it makes me a little less worried about school next Fall. I think I can do better from now on, after I have learned a few things about not doing well. Haha. I never did all that badly in High School, so it was kind of new having bad grades. But, I think, or at least I hope, I was able to learn from it.
Last Semester was also pretty good because I was able to get to know my roommates a bit better and had some pretty fun times with them. For example, Matthew, Andrew (who goes by his last name, Doman) and I rented a basketball video game at one point during the semester and stayed up pretty much all night playing it. We bought a lot of junk food to eat that night, like the dozen donuts I bought that weren't all that good, and had quite a party. Matthew and I actually had a whole seven game series with me as the Denver Nuggets and him as the L.A. Lakers, which he beat me pretty soundly in. I was beaten pretty badly just about all night long, which they had fun with, but I eventually got a bit angry at. Haha. I was really groggy the next day, though. We also had a lot of fun times playing Rock Band, going to BYU Basketball games and playing Scattegories. Last semester, Nathan Gordon, who goes by Gordo, also moved in, who lived in Denver and actually went to my same middle school and the same high school that my sister went to for a year. It's kind of cool the people you will meet.
Speaking of meeting cool people, I actually met a girl named Kristy in one of my classes last semester who is a pretty good friend now. As I've gotten to know her, I've learned we are surprisingly similar. My cousin-in-law said that he had never heard of any sort of relationship develop from meeting somebody in a class, since people don't seem to talk all that much to strangers in their classes. Haha. I guess I really don't talk to people all that much in my classes, either, although I have gained maybe a few friends that way. Well, what's interesting is that Kristy actually lived in the same small town of Gilroy, California, where I lived until I was about 7, we both had the same Kindergarten teacher, and I knew her cousin when I was little, as his and my mom took turns babysitting. Our moms know each other, as well. I think it's really cool how at BYU you can meet people that you are connected to in these ways.
I guess some people could say meeting people connected to you in ways like this is just random, like how Gordo and I both lived in the same area, went to the same middle school, and knew some of the same people, and how Kristy and I both lived in Gilroy, went to the same Kindergarten and have other interesting connections through her family. But, I'm a man of faith, and I believe that these types of things happen for a reason, and meeting people I can relate to has helped me get through tough times and back on track to be successful.
Last week, my Grandma flew me up to Washington to visit with their family. It gave me a bit of a chance to relax before coming back to Provo and having to find a job. Washington was a bit cloudy and rainy on some days, but there were also some times of nice weather, so it was not all that bad. I enjoyed going up to Seattle, going to the beach, going to the baseball game, bowling, and doing some fun things. Relaxing and getting plenty of sleep and food was also nice.
Coming back to Provo has been nice, with the sunny weather and seeing some friends again. It is kind of weird, though, since Doman and Matthew have moved out of the apartment and Mark is moving out later this week. I think there might just be three of us here in the Spring, since nobody else has moved in yet. I don't know if I will like having so few people to talk to in my apartment. Maybe I will just spend more time at other apartments. I don't think it will be all that bad, though, and I enjoy healthy new experiences.
Right now, it's Summer, and I need to find a job. It is kind of difficult to do that right now in Provo, however, but I know that I will be able to find and be hired for one if I work hard enough and have enough faith. I really should be more motivated, but my mind seems to be occupied with other things, especially with a girl I like and have thought about a lot. Obviously, since I am here writing on this blog and not looking for work, I am not trying hard enough.
With that, I think I will be done writing for now. Thanks for reading the whole post. Haha. I will try to update the blog more often in the future, if only just for my own enjoyment.
Let's start with school last semester, which was Winter 2010. I was able to do fairly well in my classes, aside from failing Biology for the second time, which I am not looking forward to retaking again. I guess three is a pretty good number, though. haha. I actually passed Art History and Statistics this time around, though, with a B- and a B, respectively, so I am happy about that. I also rebounded from a terrible semester in the Fall and now am back on Good Academic Standing, which I am really happy about and it makes me a little less worried about school next Fall. I think I can do better from now on, after I have learned a few things about not doing well. Haha. I never did all that badly in High School, so it was kind of new having bad grades. But, I think, or at least I hope, I was able to learn from it.
Last Semester was also pretty good because I was able to get to know my roommates a bit better and had some pretty fun times with them. For example, Matthew, Andrew (who goes by his last name, Doman) and I rented a basketball video game at one point during the semester and stayed up pretty much all night playing it. We bought a lot of junk food to eat that night, like the dozen donuts I bought that weren't all that good, and had quite a party. Matthew and I actually had a whole seven game series with me as the Denver Nuggets and him as the L.A. Lakers, which he beat me pretty soundly in. I was beaten pretty badly just about all night long, which they had fun with, but I eventually got a bit angry at. Haha. I was really groggy the next day, though. We also had a lot of fun times playing Rock Band, going to BYU Basketball games and playing Scattegories. Last semester, Nathan Gordon, who goes by Gordo, also moved in, who lived in Denver and actually went to my same middle school and the same high school that my sister went to for a year. It's kind of cool the people you will meet.
Speaking of meeting cool people, I actually met a girl named Kristy in one of my classes last semester who is a pretty good friend now. As I've gotten to know her, I've learned we are surprisingly similar. My cousin-in-law said that he had never heard of any sort of relationship develop from meeting somebody in a class, since people don't seem to talk all that much to strangers in their classes. Haha. I guess I really don't talk to people all that much in my classes, either, although I have gained maybe a few friends that way. Well, what's interesting is that Kristy actually lived in the same small town of Gilroy, California, where I lived until I was about 7, we both had the same Kindergarten teacher, and I knew her cousin when I was little, as his and my mom took turns babysitting. Our moms know each other, as well. I think it's really cool how at BYU you can meet people that you are connected to in these ways.
I guess some people could say meeting people connected to you in ways like this is just random, like how Gordo and I both lived in the same area, went to the same middle school, and knew some of the same people, and how Kristy and I both lived in Gilroy, went to the same Kindergarten and have other interesting connections through her family. But, I'm a man of faith, and I believe that these types of things happen for a reason, and meeting people I can relate to has helped me get through tough times and back on track to be successful.
Last week, my Grandma flew me up to Washington to visit with their family. It gave me a bit of a chance to relax before coming back to Provo and having to find a job. Washington was a bit cloudy and rainy on some days, but there were also some times of nice weather, so it was not all that bad. I enjoyed going up to Seattle, going to the beach, going to the baseball game, bowling, and doing some fun things. Relaxing and getting plenty of sleep and food was also nice.
Coming back to Provo has been nice, with the sunny weather and seeing some friends again. It is kind of weird, though, since Doman and Matthew have moved out of the apartment and Mark is moving out later this week. I think there might just be three of us here in the Spring, since nobody else has moved in yet. I don't know if I will like having so few people to talk to in my apartment. Maybe I will just spend more time at other apartments. I don't think it will be all that bad, though, and I enjoy healthy new experiences.
Right now, it's Summer, and I need to find a job. It is kind of difficult to do that right now in Provo, however, but I know that I will be able to find and be hired for one if I work hard enough and have enough faith. I really should be more motivated, but my mind seems to be occupied with other things, especially with a girl I like and have thought about a lot. Obviously, since I am here writing on this blog and not looking for work, I am not trying hard enough.
With that, I think I will be done writing for now. Thanks for reading the whole post. Haha. I will try to update the blog more often in the future, if only just for my own enjoyment.
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