Since that last post on here, life really took off. I moved to a house south of campus and job searched for two months. I found a job at a company that hired me for their call center, hoping I could last long enough to get the promotion they promised to people who stayed and proved they could handle it. I got into a relationship for a few months. I was promoted to the new position I had been hoping for, and spent a little while handling a case load of my own clients and helping them. I've experienced so much over the past 6 months. It feels like it's been so much longer. And I recently was hired at a job which will be much more difficult, most likely, but also will give me much more financial flexibility in my life.
I've moved past where I was back when I last posted, I've matured more than I ever thought I could in such a short period. I learned lessons that were difficult to learn, but have made me grow up. Working in that call center, every day I walked in and wanted to quit. Nearly every day I was on the verge of quitting, but something kept me there. Something telling me it wasn't about the call center. Something told me that, if I gave up, I was quitting on something much bigger. I was quitting on an opportunity to prove I could do something, to make something out of myself by doing what I thought was impossible. Then, at my next position, it was difficult in different ways. I told people I couldn't do it, that I was definitely going to quit. I said the same things for weeks, but every week I came back. And finally, I got a new job and made it through without quitting.
So, I'm done telling myself I can't do something. I'm done being negative. I'm tired of it. My last post was about how I made it through school when I knew it was impossible. Over the last 5 months, I then made it through two impossible jobs. At this point, I'm convinced I can make it through just about anything. I'm going to do big things with my life. I'm done telling myself anything otherwise. I'm going to succeed at this job, and then I'm going to do something even bigger afterwards. I spent too many years in high school and early college telling myself life was too hard. I'm not going to let myself get into that funk ever again.
I used to think there is a such thing as somebody who just doesn't have it and is doomed to fail. I've come to the opinion that there is no such thing as a weak person. The only weak person is one who has never been tested and forced to be strong. Every person who is forced to be strong is going to eventually realize they were capable of more than they ever thought.
I also think there's a little more to it, that God gives us our most strength in our hardest trials. People were created to overcome their weaknesses and progress. I've been blessed in so many ways I never thought I deserved.
In other words, life has been really good to me. I'm excited to see where it takes me. I'm excited to live this next stage, to get into a real job, eventually start a family and find out how great things will be.
